I've Lost My ED
by TurbineEddyPrower
Summary: An Ed, Edd, n' Eddy version of the first episode of South Park.


I've Lost My ED or The Eds Take on The First Episode of South Park

* * *

By: TurbineEddyPrower

* * *

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd, n' Eddy and all related characters ©2002 A.K.A. Cartoons, Inc./Cartoon Network. South Park belongs to its respective owner. Fan characters belong to me.

* * *

Plank and Johnny were sitting in the playground. Johnny was wearing a hood similar to Kenny's, causing him to muffle while he talked. This part we can hear what Johnny's saying. Someone hid in the shadows however, listen to "their conversation." "Ah!" The person said, "The Perfect piece of wood for the F.L.U.R.P. (Forest Lengthwise Upload Rejuvenation Project)!" "Plank? Did you hear something?" Johnny asked Plank curiously. (For the sake of this story we can actually hear Plank) "Hmm... I really can't tell. I can't make it out, but yes, I heard something." Plank replied. "Me too, Plank." Johnny looked into the bushes and suddenly blurted "I've gotta go to the bathroom, Plank! Be right back!" Johnny ran to his house. Plank's voice faded as he said, "Don't take to long, bud! What to do now? Ah yes! I can look at the cloud shapes!" Plank suddenly fell over and looked at the cloud. Still watching, the strange man walked up and stole Plank! An alien mother-ship then picked him up and flew into outer space! 

* * *

The next day was very cold and snowy. Ed, Double D, and Johnny. Double D was discussing Johnny's loss of Plank. "MPH MMPH MPHH MUMPH MURRMER!!!" Double D nodded and said, "It's impossible! Plank couldn't have been abducted by aliens, dude!" Ed looked over and added, "Double D, UFOs have been spotted all around the area! The aliens have been stealing piles and piles of wood!" Just then, Eddy walked up yawning. "Mph Mmph!" "Hey dude!" "Hey Short Ass!" Double D laughed after Ed said that. "I'M NOT A SHORT ASS YOU STUPID JEW!!!" "Damn it, Eddy! I'm Catholic too, ya know!" "I don't care you're still a stupid Jew!" "Shutup you son of a bitch!" "MOM!!! Tell them to stop! And I want my Jawbreaker Minis!" (A/N: The Eds version of Cheesy Poofs.) "Mmphh mumph mrph mmph mphh?" Johnny asked Eddy. "Well, I was yawning because some aliens took me aboard their ship and-" Ed then yelled "HA, HA! EDDY'S GOT AN ANAL PROBE!!!" "SHUTUP YOU STUPID JEW!!!" The other two started laughing. 

* * *

Later, at school, Johnny had to leave to get Plank. It just had to be school. Their teacher was looked a little like Mr. Garrison and had his own puppet, Mr. Phat. The teacher's name was Mr. Harrison. Johnny asked him, "Mmph murph mumph mmph mphh mph?" Mr. Harrison responded, "Ask Mr. Phat, Johnny." Double D had a questioning look. "He's not asking a stupid puppet of a sumo wrestler!" Johnny nodded. "Mmph!" He agreed. "I SAID ASK MR. PHAT OR YOU'LL NEVER GET THE ANSWER!" Mr. Harrison yelled. "Mmph." Johnny sighed. "Mph mmph, mumph mrph mmph mphh mph mphh mph?" Mr. Harrison, using Mr. Phat for ventriloquism, replied "No you son of a bitch! Mr. Phat, powerful sumo wrestler, forbids you from saving Plank from the aliens! Now go to your seat damn it!!!" "Mmph! Mphh mph!" Johnny complained and he walked to his seat. Meanwhile, Double D, Ed, and Eddy were arguing about the anal probe when Ed yelled "OH MY GOD! Eddy farted fire!!!" Eddy and Double D's jaws dropped. He kept farting fire and wound up lighting Kevin on fire! Kevin started running around and Eddy, who was scared to death of his gas that was lit like if you were to light gasoline on fire, said "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! I'M FARTING FLAMES!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I DO HAVE AN ANAL PROBE!!!" Double D cringed and said, "My god! This is strange!" Ed all the while could only laugh. 

* * *

Later, after school, everyone was on the cul-de-sac. Ed laughed and stuttered "I can't believe you lit Kevin on fire! I can't believe he didn't get burnt." Eddy nodded and said "We could have actually gotten jawbreakers if he got burnt." Double D and Johnny were talking to Nazz. Nazz greeted, "Hey guys!" Double D barfed. "Ew!" Nazz was grossed out. Double D always barfs when he talks to Nazz. Johnny started talking to Nazz. "Murmur mumph murph mrph mph mmph mphh mph mumph mrph?" Nazz replied "Sure, I'll help you get Plank back! We'll see if your plan works at the creek tonight!" Johnny thanked her and then something even stranger involving Eddy happened! We'll talk about _that_ later. Actually never. Well, a satellite started coming out of Eddy's ass! "Dude!" Ed was in hysterics. "There's a satellite coming out of Eddy's ass!" Eddy got confused. "No there isn't you son of a bitch!" Ed continued laughing "Yeah there is, Short Ass!" They kept arguing as the satellite went down into Eddy's ass. Just then, the alien spaceship came and shot Johnny! "OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED JOHNNY!" Ed yelled. "YOU BASTURDS!" Double D yelled, continuing what Ed had said. 

* * *

That night, Double D and Ed were waiting at the creek. Eddy was tied to a tree. Just then, Nazz walked up "Hey guys!" She said. Double D, yet again, barfed and Ed started talking to her. "Good. So Eddy's our bait to attract the aliens. We tied him up so he wouldn't get abducted again." Eddy struggled to get out. "Let me go, bitches! Waaaaahhhhh!!!" Ed got annoyed. "Shutup, Short Ass! We gotta get Plank back!" Eddy didn't see the point. "Dude! Johnny's dead ya stupid Jew!" "Shutup Eddy." Double D was anxiously waiting for the aliens' arrival. "There has to be something we're missing!" After saying this, Eddy farted, lighting the rope on fire! Which made the satellite fully appear out of his ass! The satellite must have caused a signal that was reached by the aliens, because the aliens' spaceship appeared in the sky! 

* * *

"Holy shit! It's Plank!" Ed was right. Plank was "standing" at the opening of the ship! Double D suggested, "We have to send someone up there to get him!" Ed crossed his arm over his chest. "I'll go. Besides, this was my fucked up plan anyway!" Ed ran up a tree and jumped onto the opening. He grabbed Plank and jumped down. The aliens then went back over to Plank. They pulled a _huge_ bag of wood planks out of the ship and poured it out. Plank "stood" in front of the rest of the wood. The aliens began "communicating" with the wood. In other words, they opened their mouths, but no words came out, and they paused waiting for the wood to "respond." For the sake of humor, we get to hear "their conversation." "Greetings, Plank, leader of Earth wood." "Leader my foot! What's going on here!" Plank replied, angry. "We just wanted to restore the great forests of Earth. Our plan failed. We thought using the anal satellite on the short boy could let us transmit samples of your D.N.A as wood particles and fully restore them. The satellite didn't work because someone lit the controls on fire, causing him to fart fire out of his arse." "Oh, I see." 

* * *

The aliens then left, trying to re-abduct Eddy. Eddy stayed attached to the rope and then was abducted. On the street, Johnny woke up okay. He started to walk home with Plank but was ran over. Plank "thought" to himself 'He'll come back tomorrow like he always does.' Ed and Double D were freaked. "OH MY GOD! _THEY_ KILLED JOHNNY!" Double D, again, finished this off by saying, "SO _THEY'RE_ THE BASTURDS!" Ed nodded. "Now you're getting it!" Ed started walking home. Nazz waved to Double D. "See ya!" After a while, Double D realized "Hey! I didn't barf!" Nazz was just about to kiss Double D when, once again, he barfed. "Ew! Hey, there's a French Fry! And what's that?" "That's part of a Jawbreaker Mini!" "What's that?" "I don't know what the hell that is!" 

* * *

**The ED!!!**


End file.
